Reflecting

So today is my birthday. I have now creeped into my 30’s. Last year didn’t count as then I was “just 30”. Today at 31 I am officially “in” my thirties! That’s my logic anyway.

Birthdays for me are a time of reflection. To look back at the past year and look forward to the year ahead. I must confess to having a little cry last night while reflecting. Turning 30 was emotionally difficult for me and in order to keep myself from hiding under the blankets for the next decade, I swore that I would make it worthwhile.

It started out well. I organised a party for my 30th and told people that instead of presents I wanted donations to the local cancer hospital where my dad was treated many years ago. I not only had a fab night but I also raised over £100!

My 30th last year

My 30th last year

However, personally I feel like I have failed! A whole year gone and wasted.

At 10st 1lbs I am still overweight, financially things are still tight and I cannot for the life of me stick to a meal plan! By now I had hoped that we would have finally finished decluttering and the house would look decent enough to allow visitors to just pop in without me having serious embarrassment issues. I am both cross and disappointed in myself for letting a whole year slip away. Unnoticed, gone, never to be seen again. I honestly cannot tell you where this past year has gone and it upsets me.

Last weekend I found out that a friend’s husband had died. They are both the same age as me. Then another friend died (she was nearly 90 but still). So next week, a week after turning 31, I have 2 funerals to go to! I find that both incredibly sad and humbling. How do my issues even compare with burying your husband at 31?? Honestly? They don’t. End of.

So I have enrolled myself in the gym and have been twice this week with another session booked for tomorrow. I have prepaid for 10 sessions so that I know I will definitely go. I will be under 10stone by the end of the month. Financially, without taking a second job I am not sure how to fix that. We are looking at ways to cut down costs and free up a bit of cash while doing our bit for the planet and future generations. I have also kept up my charitable donations. Since my party last year, I have collected and donated unwanted items to orphans in Romania, donated food items to the local food bank, started knitting blankets for vulnerable older people and bought presents for children in care. So maybe this year hasn’t been that bad after all!

Before I leave you to reflect on your own year, I want to share with you the best present I had this morning.

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What more could I want?

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3 thoughts on “Reflecting

  1. Eep – HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I felt the same about turning 31 in Feb, you’re well and truly “in your 30s” rather than just “30”!! But there’s nothing like the death of loved ones to make you realise how precious life is and how numbers don’t matter. My aunty died at 64 last year and I came to the conclusion that if I though SHE was young, then *I* am definitely still young – it made me stop panicking about where I thought I’d be at 30 and where I actually was, and start living life to the full more.

    Have a lovely day today and hope the funerals go OK next week (they’ll be at opposite ends of the spectrum I imagine 😦 ) xxx

    • Yes 31 definitely sounds worse than 30!! All psychological obviously.

      Life is precious and I think I need to remember that more instead of worrying where I am and where I should be. Well done on living life to the full. I need to take a page out of your book 🙂

  2. Pingback: Barbie cakes and JCB’s | alifetimeofdiy

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